Magnets and Mirrors

Magnets and Mirrors

“What you see is what you get”…or should it be “what you get is what you see”?

You push hard and finally get them together only to let go and watch them fly apart. How can air throw them apart? It’s magic! You flip them around then see how close they can get before them slam into one another. They must be possessed! Who knew that the little round thing holding up the pictures of your family members on the font of the fridge would be magic?  Who knew it had a pivotal life lesson to teach? This little lesson can transform your world…forever.

Do NOT read on if you are happy with every aspect of your life. Those perfectly content need pay NO attention to the powerful whispers of this unseen force. You already have it figured out.

Magnetism, gravity, even wind are forces we cannot see but regularly experience. Our civilized culture has tamed these invisible entities and put them to work for us. Is there more yet to be discovered? I suggest that that piece of rock stuck to your fridge has a bit more to teach us.

I was listening to a program by Rebecca Quave and she brought up a very important point. You can’t want what you have.    Really.

The act of wanting is actually acknowledging that you don’t have it. 

She asks you to draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper and write all the things you have on one side and all the things you want on the other.  Nothing is actually able to simultaneously be on both sides of the line!  Similarly, something that sticks to one side of the magnet is unable to stick to the other side.

So…if you are stuck in wanting something, you need to allow yourself to release the wanting so you can make room for the having.

Sure this sounds airy-fairy now, but think for just a minute. Have you ever bought a new car to find that after you bought it, it looks like everyone else did too? Either you are the most powerful trendsetter that ever existed or something shifted in your perception to cause you to notice the thing that was on your mind…your car.

Have you known someone (you don’t need to admit if it was you) that was so mad at themselves for something, but was taking it out on everyone else around? Do you know someone that is so negative and constantly complain about all the bad luck they have had? Do you know people that are positive and seem to attract positive experiences? This could be just as simple as perspective. If you are feeling negative, it is very hard to see the positive possibilities of a situation. Likewise, if you are in a positive mood, it is much easier to see how things are working in your favor.

What can we do to switch our polarity?  Start by simply paying attention to the positive. Even if you have to be creative to see it, look….hard. 

Mirrors simply reflect. When we are judging ourselves for something, we see that issue reflected all around us. We can blame others for our situation, or we can take a serious look and see where is it within ourselves are we looking to justify our twisted perception.  When we let go, we are free to see the world around us for what it is and not feel personally threatened by other’s actions.

Rebecca claims that all of our wants boil down to three categories: wanting approval, wanting to be safe and wanting control.  There is a simple process to help release the wanting. After that, you spend some time feeling the joy of the having. You might only be able to give yourself approval over the ability to match socks. It’s a start. Continue focusing on the feeling and more will show up. It is what you will be looking for.

Before you know it, the sun is splashing all over the ground, tickling the grass with it’s sparkles. 
A brisk breeze tangles your hair as you kneel down on the soft cushion of earth. The smell of rich soil invigorates you while you make another small hole to cradle yet another seed. A seed so full of expectation and still unaware of it’s potential.  Your smile is worn with contentment and your eyes glisten, with the lightness sung by your heart.

You have started really seeing the world and all the blessings that surround you.

Magnet photo: http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler/151228/toddler_swallows_42_refrigerator_magnets

Head shot photo: http://www.mentorfitnesscoach.com/changing-your-mind-can-change-your-life-and-help-you-lose-weight/

Mirror photo: http://perusals.wordpress.com/2012/03/19/mirror-mirror/

Open door photo: http://www.finerminds.com/consciousness-awareness/shift-your-perception/

Hey Movie Star!

Hey movie star!




Yes  you! You are the star of your own movie. We all are.

Others view our movie and there are as many opinions of our movie as there are people watching it. Only one opinion really matters. 
That’s right...yours.

Every moment, whether you are conscious of it or not, you are directing your movie.
You're calling the shots. No one else is in charge of how it rolls out. Just you.




Not only are your responsible for how the moving is created, you are the star of the show. The script is created in the moment...very impromptu.

Here is the secret to creating an Oscar award winning flick. Know this treasure of a tidbit: you are who you are NOW. 
Yep. That's it. 
You are ONLY in this present moment. You really don’t exist anywhere else...not the past or the future. The present is the gift. (Interesting name.)
Bring your attention to what/when is real. It allows for a much more powerful character.

Every second we are deciding who we are, who we bring to our silver screen.
A skilled actor spends hours and hours researching and creating his character. How much time do most of us spend on consciously creating the character we have star in our movie?

In addition to the secret of only being in the present, there is a bonus.
It is impossible for us to be who we were, so let go of your story...yeah, your past.
Just let go of your past. You are not that person. You are who you are NOW.

Let me explain. Like frames of a film strip or movie, each frame is a snapshot of a specific moment in time. Together those frames show movement, but each frame has to stand alone...on its own integrity. If you keep playing a frame from the past, it would appear as if there was no movement. You have not changed. Boring movie....rotten tomatoes!




Don’t let the dynamic force of your filmstrip fall stagnant. Break the bonds of "always have"  and "should".  Make a conscious choice in every moment to embody the full force of your highest potential!



Do you feel good about who you are in this moment? You are the director. Make it so!

Teach a Man to Fish

Teach a Man to Fish...


We rest easy at night with a perception that churches and volunteer groups are taking care of those that are less fortunate. We even pay (some may feel involuntarily) with our taxes to provide programs to support those left in desperation.  

What can I do? I am only one.


Some of us have taken someone under our wing to help them “get on their feet.” Perhaps hours of time was spent on pep talks. You might have felt like when this person was around he sucked your energy right out of you. No matter what you tried to do, little was accomplished...or perhaps you didn’t know what to do and felt helpless, too. You might have been able to give enough support to make a difference and then again, maybe not.

Did it exhaust you? Did you feel like nothing was getting done unless you were the one seeing that it did?

Could it have been you?

What did you do when you were down on your luck? Who did you talk to?

Most of us have some kind of a support network. Our family, friends, churches, social groups that give us ideas, resources, guidance and sometimes...simply advice. What if we didn’t have that? We might be the one on the other end of the fishing scenario.

What if when we teach a man to fish, we also taught him to use a net.


A group of 10 -12 people could get together and become a support network that worked like a family. No one person would feel like they are being burdened. Everyone pitched in and helped to guide an individual to become empowered; to discover his personal success.

There is such a program out there and you can be involved. It’s called The Open Table and no, it’s not the phone app. 


Check out the video on this page. 


http://theopentable.org/support/get-involved/


If you are associated with a church, a community group, a business, or have a group of friends that enjoy being a part of success, this is for you!

Together we can make the biggest difference. One life at a time.

Breaking the Terror Barrier

Breaking the Terror Barrier.

That just sounds awful! Why would I want to do that?

Comfort.

What a seductive word.

When we are stressed we may search out “comfort food.”
Change could makes us long for our “comfort zone.”
It’s the poison apple that sabotages our magical dreams.
We may not have a prince charming to wake us up.

Perhaps we should avoid the apple.


How do we know we are choosing the apple?

Think of a time when....
You had a dream and you were actively pursuing it.
The going got rough and you were pushed out of your comfort zone.
You had to make a split second decision at some point to keep on pushing, or let go of your vision and go back to what you know.
When you retreat, you take a bite of that bitter poison apple. You think it tastes sweet, but that’s because you don’t know any better. You've never tasted anything else.

What if you DIDN’T take a bite?
Same dream...same choice...different decision. No apples for you!

You start to hear your pulse racing in your ears. Your skin glistens with sweat.
Though terror stricken, you GO for it!
Your body and mind scream NOOOO!!!!
You are passing through the “terror barrier!”

Yes, you could fail.
So you fail. What is the WORST that can happen?
Will you still survive? (I hope the answer is “yes.”)

Pushing through the terror barrier you discover a whole new world!

You are free! No longer are you held captive by your fear!
Dreams so passionately pursued are brought to life.

Roll Down the Windows!

Judgement. What purpose does that really serve?
I hear my inner Dr. Phil, “How's that workin’ for ya?”

We have been doing it for...ever.
Most of our parents, even having the best intentions, were impeccable teachers of how to do it. They let us know when we didn’t reach the bar and we felt it. We embodied it. We swallowed it hook, line and sinker...just like almost every generation before us.


From then on, we judged us too.

You “should” do this, you “should” do that. How suffocating to “should” all over yourself!
When do we wake up from this dream and ask, “Why?”
Who decided something “should” be a certain way anyway? Why do you give your power over to someone else's picture perfect reality? What makes it perfect? For who? For you?

Are you living your dream? Are you sure? Or is it someone else's?
Take your power back and stop trying to mimic the life someone else dreamed up.
So what if you have a few extra pounds, a 15 year old car, a job without an elaborate title. Who truly cares (that really matters) if you have a modest house and a few skeletons in your closet?

Notice how your energy drops when you are in judgement of yourself. The life force is sucked right out of you. How is that setting you up to make positive change?
Yeah, it’s not!
Is there any good purpose served by judging yourself?
We know when we want to make different choices in life. Does that mean we need to beat ourselves up about what our choices have been thus far? No! We just simply need to acknowledge that we are going to make a change. No judgement. That’s it.

It’s like driving your car into a lake..okay, don’t actually do that. But most of us have heard that as soon as your car enters water, roll down the windows. Why? Because as the water rises, if the windows are closed, it allows too much pressure/resistance to build outside the car and you cannot open the window, much less open the door. You’re trapped!

In life, when we want to change an aspect of ourselves, the more resistance (judgement) we have, the more difficult it is to escape and actually make real change.

Let go of needing to be right (according to whoever..even you) and just BE.  
You don’t have to look the the trash to take it out.
Just let it go, and roll down the window!

Dig Down Deep

Have you ever noticed that when you are having a good time you don’t even think of checking a clock? When you do finally look it is because something triggered you. Is it worry? Are you anxious about a need to go or to check on a responsibility (which is not all bad)? Are you wishing what you were somewhere else? 

 I’m not saying we should never worry about the time; I am suggesting we be aware of the feelings we have when we are attracted to it.

Now that we know how to breathe and we know how to embrace gratitude, lets go for a real attitude adjuster.

We can use the clock or you might think of something else as a reminder. I like to use the clock because often I am looking at it because I am anxious about something. I might be dreading a situation that is coming or one that I wish were going. We have given the clock an unhealthily power to stress us out. We are just taking some of that power back.


When you notice the time, notice what feeling prompted you to look. If you realize you are anxious about a situation, smile, take three slow deep breaths and think of at least one or two things you are grateful for related to the situation.  

In a work situation this might be as simple as being thankful for having a job, working with such great co-workers or recognizing the love you have for what you do. If you are at home you might be feeling stress because you have to get things done so you can get to bed at a decent time. You might pause and be thankful that you have a home, that you have the things that you have to take care of (which might be kids) or you might simply be thankful you have the ability to do what it is you need to do.


When you feel your stress, dig down deep and notice the love you have for where you are and what you’re doing (even if you have to be creative).
Pull that up and stare it straight in the eyes.
Smile and take three deep breaths.
You’ve got it!

Don’t Hold Your Breath

Breathing. We all do it.

Most of us have heard about some kind of connection between how deeply we breath and how relaxed we are. It’s true. 
Try it.

When we can relax and “take a breath” our energy shifts. We soften, our mind can clear and our perception can change. It might take three deeeeeep breaths to let the stress go, but it will go. Know that you, being who you are is enough.  
You might even tell yourself, “I am enough” as you breathe. 
If you can't get out of your head, put your hand over your heart and focus your thoughts in your heart. You will be amazed at how great your feel and how you can begin to operate from your heart instead of your head. You will feel more relaxed, more refreshed, more authentic. 





I challenge you to take at least one slow deep breath every time you look at a clock today.
If you are able to do at least three deep breaths, pay attention to how your mind starts to clear, your shoulders start to get out of your ears and the lines in your face disappear (okay...well, they feel like it).






For those of you that sit right across from a clock like I do, we won’t hyperventilate. We are taking SLOW deep breaths. 
I know...you were getting worried. 

Relax and breathe, or is it breathe and relax?