Control Freak!

Do you micromanage, macro-manage? Can you manage?

We are all about managing others whether it be children, employees, service providers or significant others. What is that really about? Someone has to be in agreement to do what you are requesting. Isn’t that more like guidance? Aren’t we leading them to a mutually agreed result?
If there is not agreement, then our “management” is just a blend of threats, intimidation, bribing or begging. How does this make the other person feel? How does it make you feel?

You might be able to tug at heart strings and get your way through guilt. You could threaten and get your way through fear. Perhaps you withhold love so you can get your way. All of these, and many more, are just ways of manipulating others; playing on their fears so we have the false sense of being in control.


We are only able to control ourselves. That’s it.

We think we should be able to control anyone we feel we are responsible for; alas, it is not so. We attempt to pull it off through subtle manipulation, but often times it is at a grave expense. Short term results may suffice us, but long term disaster could be lurking.  

How much energy is lost manipulating? How much damage is caused? If you look back through the trash you lug around, most is a result of someone manipulating you. You were afraid, and you were hurt. Some of those scars last a lifetime.

Let’s back up just a moment. We need to remember that no one can “make” us feel anything. We choose our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, feelings and actions. The more we can claim responsibility for those and stop blaming others, the happier and more empowered we will become. The sooner we can realize we cannot control others thoughts, beliefs, emotions, feelings and actions, the sooner we can release the delusional weight of the belief that others are our responsibility.

This is not an excuse to treat people poorly because you are not responsible for how they interpret your actions. Nor is it an excuse not to parent your children. This simply means that you can be authentically you.  As Wayne Dyer has said, “Be independent of the good opinion of others.” He also says, “What you think of me is none of my business.” This is priceless wisdom. In the same turn, we need to know that our opinions of others are ONLY our business. Don’t give them your garbage.

Do you really want to be in control of you?
Dump the trash. 

And remember, you don't’ have to look through the trash to dump it out.  

Don't over do it. It's your TRASH, not you. 

    

Let it go!